Anxiety at an all time high...

I have been feeling so overwhelmed this week. It's a combination of a bunch of things but school has really set it off. My lecture professor is TERRIFYING. She is a very out of the box thinker and I hate it. I need structure & shortcuts to learn. I cannot learn things based on stupid bullshit. I hate it so much.

I am not the best math student in the world so all of the math I know is from college classes I have taken. As an adult was the first time I was really able to understand math. I just never got it in high school. Maybe my brain wasn't developed enough or something haha. The reason I understand math is because I use tricks to solve problems.

So here I am at the scariest part of this class. Not only are we learning converting measurement, would be fine, but we are not allowed to use tricks/shortcuts. We have to use the long way to solve problems and we also have to answer in scientific notation and the correct significant figures. All of these things are so incredibly scary and overwhelming for me as an adult student. Ugh.

Basically since Tuesday I have been a GIGANTIC ball of nerves. I am a very anxious person as it is. I've had panic attacks since I was very little. When I am unfamiliar or frustrated with something or if I feel like I have no control over a situation I FREAK out.

I just need to get at least a C+ in this class. I am usually an A student but this is already very difficult and we aren't even at anything crazy yet.

I just really have my fingers crossed that I get out of this semester alive.

Great weekend!

I had the most fantastic weekend. I want to live it over and over again!

Saturday I dropped T&O off at my parents house and headed to baseball. Baseball was super fun and my friends Jenn, Melinda, and Marisa & her baby, Ramona all came to watch us play. We played tournament style because so many people showed up, but I only played one game and then chilled with the ladies so I could see everyone! That is the one downfall of too many people showing up...I don't get to hang out with everybody!

Headed home, showered and then headed out to the Bane/Trapped Under Ice show. My friend, Brett's new straight edge band, Compound, played their first show. I JUST missed them by a second because they ran out of singles at the door. :( So many kids showed up super early just to see them which is so mindblowing!
The show was super fun. Bane was good..even though some kid accidentally stepped on my face and I've had a giant purple lip since Saturday :(
My friend Johnny and I old school hit the diner after the show and had some awesome real talks. Best, nicest kid ever.
Stayed up too late but it was worth it!

The next morning I woke up with the worst headache ever..basically felt like I had a giant bowling ball dropped on my face. I took some tylenol and ate cheerios in my bed. I never eat in my bed so I must have felt terrible! Hit the gym for some cardio for 45 mins then came home to get ready for a wedding I was going to with my friend Tom in Brooklyn. The wedding was at this amazing place in downtown Brooklyn called Bubby's Pie Co (http://bubbys.com/). It was located between the Brooklyn & Manhattan bridges and the view of Manhattan was beautiful! It rained though and I wish it was a better day for the bride and groom. It was such a chill wedding though..and they had 3 tiers of pie as their wedding cake! My vegan dinner was also delicious. I had a pasta primavera....mmm so good!
After the wedding I headed to A's house. I hadn't been able to hang with him since last weekend so I was stoked. We have the best sleepovers of staying up late and talking. Today we chilled out and went to Veggie Castle 2 (http://www.yelp.com/biz/veggie-castle-ii-south-richmond-hill) in Richmond Hill. It was SO good. I used to go to the original one every Sunday like 7 years ago with my friend Tim, but then they closed. Really awesome Carribean soul food.

I had to leave early to head to my Chemistry lab class which was so boring and fast. It was just a practice thing of Excel. I had to work with this girl and our computer broke so we had to start all over again and were the last ones to leave..which sucked!!

Well, back to real life tomorrow. I did not miss my job...AT ALL.

sicky, sick sick

So I have been sick for the past few days and it has been absolutely awful! Nausea, super tired, out of it. Just terrible. It started when I left work on Tuesday. Of course I have Chem lecture on Tuesday nights. I drag myself all the way to school in my comfy gym pants and the class was canceled!! I'm glad it was canceled but I could have done without driving all the way there when I felt like I was dying!

Then I made the mistake of trying to go to work the next day, only lasted half the day and came home to sleep the rest of the day. Last night I had the worst cabin fever and didn't even feel well enough to go play baseball under the lights with all of my friends! :(!

Today I still felt sick..went to the gym for the first time in 5 days, sweated like an animal for an hour and BOOM! now i feel all better!!! amazing!

It was so weird because 5 of my coworkers were sick too and all saying they had the same exact symptoms that I did. It was such an annoying sick, because I wasn't drop dead sick, but I didn't feel right at all and was so exhausted!

So glad I am feeling better in time for the weekend! Baseball Saturday during the day, Bane at night, Sunday I am going to a wedding with my friend and then I am hanging with A until Monday. I cannot wait for it all to start!

Baseball!

Today was the best day! I play baseball with my friends on Saturdays in the summertime. Some people are good but not everyone is amazing, so it's basically like Sandlot type stuff. We all play for fun and it's the best time to just be a kid for one day a week with your other adult friends.

More & new people have been showing up every week, I guess because the word is being spread about how awesome our games are. A couple of weeks ago we even had to split into 4 teams and have a tournament!

My friend, Rick, started making baseball cards for everyone every week, here is one of mine:



After the game we went to the Cheesecake Factory. That place should def be way more vegan friendly, especially since their menu is like 20 pages long. I actually had to google "cheesecake factory vegan" to find out what I could eat. I wound up getting the Thai Lettuce Wraps appetizer without chicken. It was actually really delicious. Next time I will ask for more of the coconut curry noodles in place of the chicken since it didn't have much filling stuff vecause the chicken was missing. I also got french fries. Which was a treat since I only eat french fries 4 times a year. I love them, but they are just too bad for me so I need limits.

So today was the best day with friends! Love them all!!

Photos courtesy of PamPiff & jennykxoxo

Short, quick week to a long weekend.

This week was so hectic..I feel like I did something every night so it went super fast.

I had class on Monday and Tuesday nights. My lab teacher is pretty young, I think he may be younger than me. My lecture teacher scares me a little. She is the weirdest science teacher/professor I have ever had. She's a businesswoman who has her degree in Biochem and worked in corporate America then decided to start teaching. It's seriously the strangest!

Wednesday after work, at night, the group of friends that I play baseball with on Saturdays were going to get together to have a midweek game under the lights. It was a huge fail because the lights weren't even on when we got there! So we all went to a bar called Croxley's. It used to be this place called the Downtown and they used to have shows there. I haven't been there since it closed and it looks so different! It was a good break after being in class the last couple of days.

Last night I was planning on going to the gym after work. I usually go right from work but I accidentally left my sports bra at home :( I was so sad! So I came home to write a paper and do some homework and suddenly got SUPER exhausted. So I watched Jersey Shore and then hit the hay. I was looking forward to Jersey Shore all week and of course the fight they have been showing in the commercials all week only aired in the last 2 minutes and they didn't even show the whole thing! LAME!! Is anyone else as obsessed with this show as I am?
It's funny to watch, but unfortunately I live in an area where a lot of people are like the people on the show and it's not so funny in person! haha.

Today I just worked, went to the gym, got a pedicure and came home to do some more homework. Now I am just kicking it with Tobey. Oliver has been at my parents house because he wasn't feeling well and needed to be watched 24/7. I'm getting that little baby back this weekend so Tobey will feel way better and so will I. I miss him so much and Tobey has been so depressed without his brobro.

Well, I am off to bring Tobey for a little walk and then wash my hair. Fun Friday nights over here ;)

Back in school!

Today was my first day of fall semester. For the past 3 years I have been attending a community college here. I just had to start at another state school this semester though. I'm taking as many classes as I can until I reach the max transfer credits and then I plan on transferring into a Nutrition program at another college here.

A lot of it is because it is cheaper but at the same time I feel like I am kind of procrastinating because the program is only during the day and my job I am working now is also only during the day. Which means I will have to find a new job when I get in the program. Which is scary to me!

Anyways, I am taking Chem 1 this semester. Today was my first day of lab and I think my professor is younger than me. He seems very energetic! Tomorrow is my first day of lecture with a different professor. I hope she's nice. Chemistry is not my favorite thing in the entire world. This is my 2nd Chemistry class of 5! How terrible is that?! I just keep telling myself that if I make believe I like it then I will do well.

I just can't wait to be done with school all together. I feel like I made a lot of poor decisions after high school and jumped careers a lot. I always wanted to be a Dietitian but I just went to school for stupid things as "quick fixes". One of those, if I knew now what I knew then deals. Ah well...such is life!
In addition to this it is incredibly frustrating since I am in school for undergrad..they are not very understanding that people work full time jobs and I can only take 1 or 2 classes a semester. It's not the same as grad school where programs are molded to fit the full time worker.
So the fact that people who started school the same time that I did are finished or that they haven't even started yet and will be finished before me drives me insane!!
I just keep saying that at least I am doing something and I have more credits towards the degree than I did 3 years ago. It still makes me nuts when people ask when I will be done though because I have no idea!

Well, off to bed. Another long day of work & school tomorrow. I'd like to win the lotto so I could go back to school full time please! ;)

New blog

Well, I figured I would try and start a new blog. The last one I had on here was a picture blog...then I got an Iphone and I didn't have the patience to figure out how to send pics to my blog so that ended! haha. Honestly, I just really wish blogger had an app. I don't understand why they don't!

I also tried to have a tumblr blog a few months ago but I just hate the format and I don't really understand it.

Wow..I must really sound technologically retarded at this point!

Anyways, just wanted to make a little post so this space wasn't totally empty :)

edit: ok blogger totally updated their "update from your cell phone" thing and now it is way easy and this message makes me look extra stoops!